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Learning objective
Students use a video and T chart for exploring different ways to ask for and give consent for touch (e.g. hugs).
Take home messages
Curriculum links
WA HPE Curriculum
Sub-strand: Personal identity and change
- Strategies to use when help is needed.
- Strategies to use when needing to seek, give or deny permission are practised.
Sub-strand: Healthy and active communities
- Actions that keep people safe and healthy
Sub-strand: Interacting with others
- Ways to interpret the feelings of others in different situations to help develop respectful relationships as individuals grow older.
International technical guidelines on sexuality education
Key concept 4.1 Violence
- It is important to be able to recognise child abuse and understand that this is wrong.
Key concept 4.2 Consent, privacy and bodily integrity
- Everyone has the right to decide who can touch their body, where, and in what way.
Key concept 5.3 Communication, refusal and negotiation skills
- Communication is important in all relationships including parents/guardians or trusted adults and children, and between friends and others
Key concept 5.5 Finding help and support
- Friends, family, teachers, religious leaders and community members can and should help each other.
Materials
- Consent and communication animated video by Amaze (2min 9 sec) (external link).
- Consent activity sheet - enough for one per pair
- What are they saying cards - enough so each pair can have one showing yes card and one showing no card
Before you get started
- Cut out enough of the What are they saying cards so there is enough for one pair to have one card which shows the character showing yes and one card which shows the character showing no and so you have a copy of each different card too. Make two separate piles of the showing yes cards and the showing no cards.
- Teachers should know and understand the protective interrupting technique and what, why, when and how it is needed and used.
Learning activities
Group agreement
5 mins
Teaching tip: A group agreement must be established before any Relationships and Sexuality Education (RSE) program begins to ensure a safe learning environment. Read Essential Tool: Establishing a group agreement for tips on how to create one and what to include.
- Revise or create the class group agreement.
Video: consent and communication
5 min
- Watch the video: Consent and communication (2 min 09 sec) in entirety.
Ask students:
What did the animals in the video do when they didn't want to be touched?
(Puffed up, moved away, rolled up in ball, spikes.)
How people show a yes or a no
20 min
Ask:
What does the word 'consent' mean? (Hint: think about the consent forms we use for excursions)
(Agreeing to do something, giving permission, letting someone do something, saying 'yes'.)
- Explain that just like animals, human's show with their body a yes or a no and we are going to do to an activity to see how. Ask students to form a pair and hand out the Consent activity sheet. Explain that together they need to write how they would ask for a hug and how they would ask for a pencil. Once you have done that, one of you come up and pick up one card from each pile. Put one card in box and one card in another and follow the instructions along.
- Once most of the students have done gone through the activity bring them back together to discuss.
- Ask a few pairs to share how they asked someone for a hug and how they asked someone for a pencil.
Teaching tip: Ensure to praise students who use 'please' in their questions.
Go through different card by holding it up and ask the students:
Who had this card?
Is the person in this card showing a yes or a no to the question?
How do you know if they are showing a yes/no?
After you have gone through all the cards, ask:
If someone is showing you a no to your question, what are the things you circled on your sheet you said you would do?
(Leave them alone, ask a friend)
Why shouldn't you hug them or take the pen after they showed you a no?
(That is not consent, not nice, not being a good friend)
How would you feel if someone did something you told them not to do?
(Sad, angry, upset)
Why shouldn't you get angry after they showed you a no?
(Because that is mean, it is up to them to decide)
- "Looking at someone's body language can help you to see if they are OK with you touching them. For example, a smile or looking happy. But these things alone don't mean they consent to you touching them. The only way you can know for sure is to ask them and get a 'yes' in return."
CUPS - rules of consent
10 min
- Write the acronym CUPS on the board (vertically). Add each of the words 'change mind', 'understand', 'pressure is not OK', 'sure' as you explain the following.
Explain:
There are some important rules about consent. The word 'CUPS' can help us remember these rules.
Change mind - you are allowed to change your mind at any time. E.g. If you say, 'yes' to a hug and then you don't want to, that is OK. The person is no longer allowed to hug you. And, if you have said, 'yes' to a hug before, it does not mean it is OK for that person to hug you every time they see you. They have to ask each time.
Understand - you have to understand what you are agreeing to. E.g. If a person asks you for a hug and then they try to give you a kiss, this is not OK and is not consent.
Pressure is not OK - if someone is pressuring you, this is not OK and not consent. E.g. If you don't give me a hug, I won't be your friend any more.
Sure - if you are not sure if you want to be touched, the person is not allowed to touch you. E.g. If someone asks you for a hug and you shrug your shoulders and say, 'maybe', this is not consent and the person is not allowed to give you a hug until they are sure you are OK with it.
Thumb up, thumbs down - is it consent?
10 min
- Using hand puppets or another adult, act out the following scenes and have students give a 'thumbs up' or 'thumbs down' to indicate if it is 'consent' or 'not consent'.
Scenario 1 (C - changes mind)
Character 1: Hi Jay, I've missed you. Can I give you a hug?
Character 2: (arms open, smiling) YES! I'd love a hug, I've missed you too!
Character 1: (runs up very fast to character 1)
Character 2: (steps backwards, looks worried and puts hand up to stop character 1)
Character 1: (forcibly hugs character 2)
Not consent - character one changed their mind and their body language showed this.
Scenario 2 (U- understands what they are agreeing to)
Character 1: Hi Jay, I've missed you. Can I give you a hug?
Character 2: (arms open, smiling) YES! I'd love a hug, I've missed you too!
Character 1: (gives character 2 a warm hug and then kisses them on the cheek).
Not consent - they consented to a hug but not a kiss.
Scenario 3 (P - pressure)
Grandma: Oh how you have grown! I haven't seen you for so long. Come give grandma a kiss! (puckers lips)
Grandchild: No thank you grandma.
Grandma: Oh dear, I won't be giving you the present I brought you then!
Grandchild: (looking sad and unsure) Uhhhh, ummmm, OK.
Grandma: (kisses granddaughter).
Not consent - Grandma pressured the grandchild.
Scenario 4 (S - sure)
Grandma: Oh how you have grown! I haven't seen you for so long. Come give grandma a kiss! (puckers lips)
Grandchild: No thank you grandma but I would love a big hug!
Grandma: Wonderful, I love your hugs! (Gives grandchild a big hug)
Consent - clear and specific.
3-2-1 Reflection
Trusted adults
5 min
Explain:
If someone touches you without consent, you are not to blame. Tell them to stop and tell a trusted adult for help.
- Revise the trusted adult 'helping hand' by asking students to think of 5 adults (one for each finger) that they can go to for help if they need it.
Teaching tip: It is important not to tell the students who their 5 adults are as they will be different for each student.
- Display the Kidshelpline number (1800 55 1800) in your classroom and remind students that this can be on of the 5 trusted adults they can seek help from.
Health promoting schools
Background teacher note: Health promoting schools framework.
Partnerships
Family
- Talk Soon. Talk Often: a guide for parents talking to their kids about sex is a free hardcopy resource that can be bulk ordered by schools and website. Send a copy home to parents prior to starting your RSE program. The booklet offers ages and stage related information on puberty (and other topics) so that parents can reinforce the topics covered in class. (How to order hard copies.) Provide the link to parents on school websites and social media.
- Run a parent workshop and run this activity with parents to model the content that will be covered in your RSE program.
- Run a parent and child evening session, where the children can teach the parents what they have been learning about.
